Part 3No Migratory Birds in Antarctica

Scene after scene from the past rose in my mind.

My smile grew.

Then I clicked to the next page.

And the smile disappeared.

"I always thought of Summer as Mia's best friend. Honestly, I used to get annoyed because she was always stealing Mia's time from me. But tonight I saw Summer onstage at the dance competition. She was incredible. I felt something strange in my chest. What is wrong with me?"

The entry was dated five months ago.

I stared at the date.

Hadn't Ethan told me the app stopped working two years ago because of a bug?

I scrolled down quickly.

"The three of us had dinner today. Summer sat across from me, and I kept looking at her without meaning to. She has dimples when she smiles. How did I never notice?"

Another entry.

"Summer's grandmother died. I went with Mia to comfort her. Watching Summer cry like that, I wanted to hold her so badly."

Then:

"I can't stop thinking about her. I'm a terrible person."

My fingers went cold.

I kept scrolling.

"Our hands touched today. Summer blushed instantly and couldn't look at me for the longest time. Does that mean her feelings changed too? I know this is wrong, but the thought makes me happy."

"I was so stupid. Summer used to criticize everything I did and threaten to destroy me if I ever hurt Mia. But for the past year she hasn't acted like that at all. Sometimes she even avoids me. So that's why."

"Mia asked me to drive Summer home. Summer kept refusing and saying she could manage alone. I knew she was trying not to be alone with me, but I followed anyway. She's gotten thinner. She barely spoke, but her breathing was uneven. Mine was too."

Then the entry that made something inside me collapse.

"Mia kissed me in front of everyone today. Usually she's too shy to do that. I should've been happy. I wasn't. Summer looked hurt. I can't keep doing this. No matter what, I have to tell her how I feel."

A dull ache spread through my chest.

So that was why he'd stared at Summer during the dance competition, why he'd drifted through dinner afterward, why he had looked so anxious and protective at her grandmother's funeral, why he'd seemed distracted even when we were supposed to be on a date.

Every strange moment had an answer now.

Ethan had realized his feelings at that dance competition.

Summer's had clearly started even earlier.

I was the last one to notice.

I scrolled farther.

The newest entry had been written one hour ago.

"Summer and I finally admitted what we feel. Now I know she loves me too. Mia's birthday is over, so I need to end things. I know telling her the truth is going to hurt her badly, but I can't avoid it anymore..."

My phone started vibrating.

I stared at Ethan's name on the screen.

My fingers curled against my palm.

Cold sweat slid down my back.

And suddenly I understood myself.

Why I had left my own birthday dinner early seven days ago, pretending there was something urgent at school.

Why I had been avoiding both of them ever since.

I was scared.

I had seen Ethan at seventeen, standing beneath fireworks with love written all over his face as he confessed to me.

How was I supposed to stand in front of that same person and hear him say straight out that he loved Summer now, that we had to break up?

But the call had come anyway.

Almost as an act of escape, I opened the acceptance document and sent it to Dr. Ward.

Don't tell me.

Please.

Don't make me hear it.

I promise I won't stand in your way.

If I leave quietly, the two of you can be together without guilt.

Isn't that better?

My phone kept ringing.

I threw myself onto the bed and buried my face beneath the blanket.

The ringtone slowly became muffled.

The pain in my chest only grew sharper.

I had held back my tears for days.

At last, they came all at once.