Part 1Not Blood, Still Forbidden

I lost both my parents at ten and was raised by Payton.

He helped me overcome my mutism and turned down every relationship for my sake. I thought this was love.

On my eighteenth birthday, I gathered the courage to kiss him.

But he pushed me away. "I'm your brother. Even though we're not blood-related, what you're doing is disgusting."

Three months ago, he brought home his arranged fiancée, Sophia

They held hands. Embraced. Kissed. Right in front of me.

When Sophia had an allergic reaction and was hospitalized, he accused me of poisoning her.

"Go home and kneel. Give the Williams family an explanation."

I knelt in the pouring rain all night.

Later I found out the allergy was her own staged performance, and her fall at the banquet was self-inflicted too.

But what did it matter?

By then, I'd already bought a one-way ticket to the Gobi Desert.

On the night of the birthday banquet, I left him a letter.

"I don't love you anymore."

* * *

Lily's POV

"Professor, I've made up my mind. I'm ready to go to the Gobi."

On the other end of the line, the professor's surprise quickly gave way to relief.

"Are you sure? The conditions in the Gobi are extremely harsh."

I gripped my phone, my knuckles turning slightly white.

"I'm sure."

"But your brother has always doted on you. I doubt he'll agree to let you..."

I cut off the professor's words, my voice softening.

"Don't worry, he'll agree."

"Good. Make sure you talk it over with him properly. The departure date is in two weeks."

After hanging up, I looked at the framed photo on my nightstand.

In the photo, seventeen-year-old Payton stood with ten-year-old me on his back at a mountain summit. He turned his face toward me, the mountain wind tousling his hair.

Our two families had been close friends for generations. The year my parents died in a plane crash, the Sterling family took me in. But losing my parents caused me to develop mutism. I didn't speak a single word for three whole months.

The two Sterling elders were busy with official duties and had no extra time to focus on me.

It was Payton who took my hand and said, "You still have me. I'll always be here to take care of you."

And he really did.

He picked me up and dropped me off at school. Always sat in the front row at parent-teacher meetings. Braided my hair, clumsy but gentle. Stayed up all night when I had nightmares.

He even turned down several relationships for my sake, saying, "Lily isn't ready to accept a new family member yet."

Under his gentleness and patience, I finally spoke again. I grew more and more dependent on him, making him my entire world.

But somewhere along the way, that dependence changed its nature.

On the night of my eighteenth birthday, Payton threw me a coming-of-age party that stunned the whole city.

At that party, he, who never touched alcohol, broke his rule and drank.

After the celebration ended, I helped the drunk Payton home.

As he leaned back on the sofa with his eyes closed, I leaned down and gently kissed the corner of his lips.

Payton's eyes flew open. He pushed me away, his eyes filled with disbelief and shock.

"Do you even know what you're doing?"

"I know."

I gathered my courage and confessed my feelings.

"I like you."

"This is absurd!"

It was the first time he'd been this angry with me.

"Everyone knows we're siblings!"

"We're not blood-related. How does that make us siblings?"

"I'm your brother in name!"

"So what?"

"Lily!"

He was livid, as if I'd committed some grave sin.

"I'm seven years older than you! You're only eighteen. What do you know about liking someone?"

I remained stubborn.

"Eighteen is legal adulthood. I'm an adult now, so of course I know what it means to like someone!"

Seeing me counter his every argument, his expression darkened. "Ridiculous!"

That argument ended with Payton slamming the door and leaving.

From then on, Payton's attitude toward me grew increasingly cold.

He came home less and less frequently. For matters concerning me, he no longer handled them personally but sent the butler instead.

But even so, I never gave up.

Every year on his birthday, I carefully prepared gifts and earnestly confessed my feelings to him.

Payton never responded.

I thought that no matter how cold he was or how much he refused to respond, I would keep on liking him.

Until three months ago, when Payton suddenly agreed to an arranged marriage and brought his marriage partner, Sophia, home.

That night at dinner, Sophia sat in what used to be my seat, gently serving Payton food.

I couldn't believe it. I questioned him privately, asking if he'd deliberately agreed to the marriage just to force me to give up my feelings for him.

But Payton said coldly, "You're overthinking it. We're getting married because we're well-matched, and we've reached the age for marriage."

"I've also reached the age for marriage!"

For the first time, my eyes reddened in front of him.

"Payton, why won't you like me?"

"Because you have no idea what real affection is!"

After that, Sophia appeared at the house frequently.

They held hands, embraced, kissed-intimate and affectionate.

It made me feel like all my years of affection were nothing but a laughable case of unrequited love.

Last night at two in the morning, I got up for water. Passing by the study, I heard faint sounds coming from inside.

The door was ajar. I saw Payton and Sophia by the desk, intimately close, with ambiguous sounds spilling out.

I covered my mouth and retreated to my room, sliding down against the door until I sat on the floor. I cried all night.

In that moment, I finally understood-some things, if they're not mine, I can't force them to be.

So I decided to let go of my feelings for him and leave his side.

I'd clung to him for so many years. He must have been fed up with me long ago.

I was about to leave for the Gobi soon. I wouldn't bother him like I used to. He'd probably be relieved when he found out.