Part 1Ranked a Fool, Crowned a Champion

A "Campus Simp Rankings" post went up on our college's anonymous forum, and I took the top spot.

It didn't take long for someone to figure out who posted it: Casey Lowe, the prettiest girl in her department, who spent the past two years leading me on.

I stood there holding the coffee I had just bought her as my roommate ran up, waving his phone. "Shane! You've done all that stuff for Casey, and now she's trashing you on the forum!"

I texted Casey, but she blocked my number. Then she messaged me from a different account and had the nerve to ask me to put together a PowerPoint for her.

I scoffed and typed back, [I'm busy. Ask someone else.]

* * *

I was on my way to Casey Lowe's dorm with a cup of coffee when I saw my roommate, Garrett Phelps, running toward me, waving his phone.

"Shane!" He stopped in front of me, out of breath. "You're still buying her drinks? Have you seen the campus forum?"

I blinked. "What about it?"

He thrust his phone in my face. The post's title appeared in bold across the screen.

[Campus Simp Rankings: Losers Who Think They're Being Romantic]

I was number one.

Underneath were three photos of me: waiting outside Casey's dorm with her breakfast, hauling half a dozen packages to her building, and standing outside one of her classroom buildings with an umbrella, waiting for her class to end.

The top comment had over three thousand likes.

[That's not devotion. That's a guy who can't take a hint.]

The next one read, [Isn't he an architecture major? He's always hanging around outside her dorm holding her stuff like it's his job.]

The third said, [You really think a girl that hot would go for you? Look in a mirror.]

I scrolled through dozens of comments. Not one person stood up for me.

"Who posted this?"

Garrett lowered his voice. "Some tech guys dug around and found out it came from someone in Casey's dorm. The account's email starts with 'case,' just like her username on the student portal. They think it's her burner."

I stared at those four letters, trying to make sense of it.

"Come on, say something!" Garrett said.

I looked down at the coffee in my hand. It was made just the way she liked.

I turned to leave, but Garrett caught my arm. "Wait, there's more! Look what she just posted!"

He pulled up her profile, refreshed the page, and held out his phone.

Casey's latest post was a screenshot of the rankings with a caption.

[I was surprised to see this post, but I want to clear something up. Shane is just a classmate. That's all he's ever been to me, and I've never led him to believe otherwise. His attention is unwanted, and at this point, it's harassment. Hopefully, he'll take the hint.]

Harassment. The word hit me like a slap.

Dozens of people already filled the comments, all taking her side.

[Good for you, girl! You don't owe him anything!]

[Finally, someone said it.]

[Who even is this guy? Imagine being that desperate.]

Garrett threw up his hands. "Seriously? After everything you did for her? When she got appendicitis in the middle of the night, you were the one who…"

"Don't." I handed him the coffee. "Here. It's yours."

"Are you okay?"