Part 2The Red Dust of Revival

I wasn't about to touch money that was still warm from his crotch. I waved my hand.

"You misunderstand. I'm not starving. I'm thin because I diet. It's called staying fit."

They lived in the mountains; they didn't know that being slim was the trend in the city now. They still thought being fat meant being wealthy.

Lucas was convinced I was lying to save face. He tried to shove the money at me.

"Ava, stop being stubborn. Take it... Sigh, we aren't strangers... just take it."

I stepped back.

"No need. I have business here."

In the past, I was meek. I never refused him.

Lucas was used to controlling me. Seeing me refuse him repeatedly, his face went cold.

"Ava, you can't fool me. If I wasn't worried about you dying of hunger in my village, I wouldn't bother!"

Sarah scoffed.

"Lucas, look at her. She looks drained... I bet she has some nasty disease!"

She pulled Lucas back.

"Stay away from her. Who knows what she has! I told you, a factory girl like her couldn't get into college legitimately. She probably slept her way in..."

Her tone was self-righteous, as if she hadn't seduced an engaged man in a cornfield years ago.

Back then, I waited in the city like a fool, unaware they were hooking up.

When Lucas first returned to the city in my past life, he was always distracted. When I asked, he just held my hand and said it was nothing.

I suspected he had a fling.

To quell my doubts, he proposed before he even found a job.

That night by the river, he hugged me tight. "Ava, I have you. Why would I look at anyone else? Those country girls are rough and uneducated. Why would I want them when I have you, so soft and sweet?"

I thought his distraction was just anxiety about the future. I convinced my parents to let us marry.

After the wedding, Lucas took my dad's job at the factory.

It was 1977. The college entrance exams were reinstated. My friends were studying.

I had the best grades, but I gave up on college because I didn't want to be separated from my new husband.

Then came the news of Sarah's death.

Lucas changed. He treated me like a plague.

When he got laid off in middle age, he gave up. I supported the family and cared for his parents until they died.

Only on my deathbed did I realize he didn't just feel guilty—he hated me.

He hated me for taking Sarah's place.

So, my last words were: "If there is a next life, let's not do this again."

In this life, he stayed for Sarah. I chose a different path.

I thought we were both happy with our choices.

I tried to leave, but Sarah blocked me.

"Ava, if you want 'youth compensation fees' from Lucas, forget it. He owes you nothing. He told me everything about your past. It was consensual."

"If you're really too poor to treat your 'disease,' stay and cook for the old bachelor in the village. Maybe he'll give you leftovers."

The crowd laughed nastily.

"Look at the way she walks, shaking her hips. No decent family here wants that. If Sarah wasn't so generous, you wouldn't even get to serve the bachelor."

They say poverty breeds malice. I was seeing it firsthand.

"I have a job."

"I work for the government. I'm here for poverty alleviation research."

Lucas sneered.

"Ava, you studied all those years for a desk job? Stop pretending. Government clerks just push paper. They don't have the power to come here on inspections."

I felt a sudden sadness.

I used to love Lucas for his intellect. A few years in the village, and he had become ignorant and shallow.