Part 2Not Your Practice Run

The tears of heartbreak and humiliation finally broke through.

Liam’s words echoed in my mind, over and over, syllable by syllable.

They completely obliterated whatever self-esteem I had left.

If I hadn't heard it with my own ears, I wouldn't have believed that the boy who held me so tenderly and passionately last night was the exact same person.

It turns out you can do the most intimate things with someone without loving them at all.

Even in the most passionate, breathless moments, people can still lie.

The "happy ending" I foolishly believed in was just a sick joke for him and his friends.

The harder I cried, the more it hurt.

I didn't even dare to make a sound. My body just shook uncontrollably.

A long time passed.

My phone buzzed with a text notification.

It was Liam.

[Take an Uber home yourself. The senior class is having a party tonight, it's not convenient to bring you.]

I didn't reply.

He sent another one.

[Don't forget to go buy a Plan B pill. I don't have time today. Make sure you take it, be a good girl.]

I stared at those two texts for a long time.

From dusk until dawn yesterday, Liam had tossed and turned with me.

When we were both exhausted, right before he pulled me into his arms to sleep, he whispered it twice.

"I didn't have protection for our first time. I'll make sure to buy you the pill tomorrow."

He even lectured me about how girls need to protect themselves, that I had to take the morning-after pill or it would hurt my body.

At the time, I thought he was being so responsible. I thought I had finally found my happiness.

But now...

In a split second, I sobered up.

I dug my nails into my palms, forcing the tears to stop.

I wiped my face, straightened my clothes, and walked out of the bathroom.

I was too embarrassed to go to a pharmacy in person, so I ordered the pill on a delivery app.

When the driver left it at my door, I waited a long time before I dared to sneak out and grab it.

Swallowing the pill through my tears, I felt like all my strength had been drained. I just sat blankly on my bedroom rug.

Ever since Liam's family moved in next door ten years ago, I had been his little shadow.

I had never imagined what a world without him looked like.

I was too scared to.

But from now on, it was just going to be me.

Outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, the streetlights flickered on, then gradually went out.

I don't know how much time passed before my best friend, Harper, FaceTimed me.

"Maya, why didn't you come to the party with Liam tonight?

"Chloe from the liberal arts track is here. With you gone, she’s practically throwing herself at him. They’re being so gross right now."

Harper flipped the camera.