Part 2732 Letters, None for Me

The concern in their eyes was utterly genuine. Kate even had tears welling in hers. But as James’s hand brushed my cheek, asking me softly, I clearly saw a fleeting look of disappointment and suppressed longing in Kate’s eyes.

Before, I had never noticed. Now, it was so obvious.

The cold words from the letters crashed into my mind again.

Kate, tomorrow I’m going to propose to Norma.

I know this is selfish, and incredibly unfair to you. But Norma… she needs me more. She’s too lonely.

And you, Kate, you will always be the one I love most, my best comrade, the one I can always trust my back to.

If there’s a next life, I promise I’ll marry you.

At the end of the letter, there was a dark, irregular stain. Like a dried water mark. It must have been a tear.

I once believed that marrying James was the greatest fortune of my life. I once believed that his kindness to me was truly because he loved me. Never did I imagine that all of it was merely his compassionate charity. How benevolent, and how cruel.

A strong, metallic taste rose in my throat, which I desperately suppressed. I suddenly bent over, dry heaving violently. Nothing came up, only cold, acidic bile burning my esophagus. The child in my belly seemed startled, moving more fiercely. A tearing, dull pain erupted from my lower abdomen, quickly sweeping through my entire body.

“Norma!”

“Sweetheart!”

Chaos, jostling. James’s arms around me were stiff as iron. Kate’s tearful voice was distant, then close. A warm dampness spread beneath me.

The cold corridor of the military hospital, the harsh white lights flashing across my vision.

I don’t know how long passed before the doctor removed his gloves. “I’m sorry, the fetal heartbeat has stopped. Sudden, severe intrauterine distress, leading to violent contractions… we couldn’t save the baby.”

The baby. Gone. Five simple words, yet they drained every last bit of strength and warmth from my body. I heard Kate’s and James’s fractured voices by my ears. “Sweetheart, it’s alright… we’ll have a second, a third child later.” “Yes, Norma, don’t be scared. Once you recover, there will be more.” They sounded so distressed, so sincere.

I just lay there, eyes open, my mind replaying not the words on the letters, but much older images.