Part 2I'm Done Being My Dead Sister's Ghost

"Ever since Jenna's passing, your mother's mental state has been unstable. She's getting older, so you need to be more understanding," Dad said.

I didn't argue further. I just walked out, completely numb.

Then, just like countless times before, I opened my mouth to say, "Mom, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have talked back to you. I shouldn't have gotten such a high score without your permission."

Mom turned around to look at me, but her eyes weren't focused. She was having another episode, one where she would mistake me for Jenna.

"Oh, my dear Jenna, what are you talking about? Come eat. I made all your favorite dishes."

Mom led me to the dining table and began to pile food onto my plate nonstop. This was treatment I could never have received when she was lucid.

Most of the time, I could only sit in the seat farthest from the dishes, while my parents would sit on either side of Jenna's framed photo.

The only chicken drumstick on the table, the most tender piece of meat, and even the sweetest bite of watermelon—all of it was always reserved for Jenna. I only got to eat these things when Mom was confused.

After dinner, Mom led me to Jenna's room again. This time, she had me lie down on Jenna's soft, big bed.

Once she had carefully tucked the blanket around me, she sat beside the bed and gently patted my back over and over.

"Have a good sleep. I'll be right here with you," she soothed.

I heard that this was a habit Jenna had when she was a child. She was afraid of the dark and couldn't fall asleep by herself, so every night, she needed Mom to stay with her until she fell asleep.

Once, when I was six, I was too scared to sleep because of the thunder outside. I hugged my pillow and ran to Jenna's room looking for Mom, but she frantically shoved me out the front door.

"You're so young, yet you're already trying to compete with Jenna for my attention. I don't need a daughter as selfish as you!"

I cried myself hoarse that night, yet Mom didn't let me back in until dawn.

Now, as I experienced the rare moment of motherly love, I quietly counted down inside my head.

Five… Four… Three… Two… The moment I reached one, the confusion in Mom's eyes cleared.

A venomous look replaced the loving gaze that had been there seconds ago.

"Why are you in Jenna's bed? Must you also take over the last bit of space she has left in this world? Get out!"

Mom yanked me off the bed, and with practiced ease, I slipped out of the room before she could hit me. I went back to my bedroom, which was actually a converted storage room.

Compared to Jenna's warm and cozy room, mine was awfully shabby. It never got sunlight all year round, and the cold, damp air always made my eczema flare up.

Back then, when the itching got too unbearable, I'd beg my parents to move to a bigger house. I told them I wouldn't fight Jenna for the bigger room, and that all I wanted was a bedroom that could get some sunlight.

After all, it wasn't like we couldn't afford it.

But Dad just slapped me across the face, while Mom became so furious that even her finger pointing at me was shaking.

"This is the only place Jenna ever lived. If we move, she won't be able to find her way home! How can you be this selfish?" she screeched.

I could only retreat to that cramped, narrow storage room.

In fact, this storage room didn't even fully belong to me. Two-thirds of the space was occupied by Jenna's belongings—her old electronic keyboard, the dolls she used to play with, the ice skates she once wore…

Despite the dust that had long settled over these items, I still didn't have the right to touch them. The only reason was that they "still carried" Jenna's scent, and I couldn't be allowed to erase those traces.

After calming Mom down, Dad finally stepped into my room in what was a rare occurrence.

"The College Board looked into things. You didn't cheat. We had mistakenly accused you."

I didn't respond and just looked at him quietly.

Dad continued, "Jennifer, Jenna died the day before she was supposed to start college. That has been the greatest pain your mother has carried throughout her life.

"Even if you are the top scorer, you still have to attend the college we picked. This is your fate. You have to accept it."

Hidden in the darkness, I let out a quiet laugh. "I'll accept it."

As I watched Dad walk away with a satisfied look on his face, I quietly finished the rest of the sentence in my mind.

"I'll also follow Jenna's fate and drown the day before college starts."